Lost in Translation

Learning another language has been very challenging for me. Through the years I have made my fair share of mistakes and come across some rather funny translations. Here are some of them:

Rape-burp

Excuse me, I always rape after a good meal

Fart-speed

You can only do 30 farts on this street

God-good

I want you to be God when you go to your friend’s house.

Hår (pronounced whore) hair

There is a whore in my food

Gift-married, also poison

You gave me the perfect poison

I have a gift girl I want you to meet.

Mus (pronounced moose)-mouse

The cat ate another moose

Pikk (pick)- penise

Do you always use a penise when you play the guitar

Brus (Bruce)- soda pop

On a hot day a big Bruce really tastes great

Ratt –steering wheel

The rat is loose in my car

Dugg( pronounced dog)- dew

There is a lot of dog on my window

Smell -crash

Its not the fart that kills you its the smell 

That line is funny because a Norwegian rally driver said it to a journalist in all seriousness. 

There are a lot of school executions here in this town (misuse of the word excursions)  

When I first came to Norway I didn’t speak more than a few words of Norwegian. Where ever I went all I heard were a bunch of sounds that made no sense, like a bunch of chickens squawking. Often I find myself speaking Nor-lish and making up words that seem to fit. My Norwegian has gotten a lot better but I still make a lot of mistakes, speak a strange dialect and get laughed at a lot. I have done some translating for the town of Larvik, and I have worked as a substitute teacher at an elementary school. One thing I have learned, something’s just get lost in translation and I found out a long time ago that Jokes are impossible to translate. I will be adding to this list in the future, but for now have some fun and a few laughs with some Norwegian Farts and look here you got to be kidding me . Try not to get lost along the way. Happy Friday or as they say in Norwegian God Fredag!

Fridays Correspondences

Magickal Intentions: Love, Romance, Marriage, Sexual Matters, Physical Beauty, Friendship and Partnerships, Strangers and Heart

Incense: Strawberry, Sandalwood, Rose, Saffron and Vanilla

Planet: Venus

Sign: Libra and Taurus

Angel: Ariel

Colors: Green, Pink, Aqua

Herbs/Plants: Pink Rose, Ivy, Birch, Heather, Clematis, Sage, Violet and Water Lilly Stones: Rose Quartz, Moonstone, Pink Tourmaline, Peridot, Emerald and Jade

Oil: (Venus) Cardamom, Palmrosa, Rose, Yarrow

Friday belongs to Venus, and its energies are warm, sensuous, and fulfilling. Efforts that involve any type of pleasure, comfort, and luxury, as well as the arts, music, or aroma (incense and perfume) works well on this day. As Venus lends its sensuous influences to the energies of this day, use it for any magical work that deals with matters of the heart.