Excuse me!

Excuse me for being such a criminal. I must confess that sometimes I have done some pretty terrible things. I have tried to get out of paying for a TV license because I just don’t like being told what to watch on TV, seems to me commercial TV works just fine Mr. NRK. Well, I don’t do that anymore, I hardly watch TV but I pay the license anyways because that is just the way things are.

There was a time when I used to steal as well. I stole bags to put my groceries in. I confess, I was one of those customers. Just didn’t seem right to pay for carrying home merchandise and paying for the stores advertising at the same time. Food is expensive enough. Well I don’t do that anymore either. I have reformed and do my best now to recycle, avoiding plastic whenever I can. This is not an easy task because it seems to be everywhere. I guess that is just the way things are.

Thank God the stores are doing such a good job at keeping us honest. There was not always a time when I put the grocery cart back in its proper space, and there used to be a time when I parked without picking up one of those little tickets that allow us to use their store for an allotted time (which seems to be getting shorter). Lucky thing there are parking police out there keeping us honest as well. 5 minutes in the store could cost you 500 kroner and God help you if you cannot manage to squeeze your car into one of those little spaces, you get napped for that one too. As I have been told, that’s just the way things are.

As it so happens that being the criminal I am, I also use tobacco. Now I know it is not good for me and I really do want to quit. After all not only is it not good for me but it is getting so difficult to buy. We need tickets for that now as well. Now if a criminal like me where trying to quit I could buy patches or gum without a ticket. You can just ask for that at the counter. Why these so called little helpers to us “Criminal addicts” are so expensive is a question that I would really like answered. Heroin addicts seem to get better and cheaper help. Well I guess that’s just the way things are.

Being the hardcore criminal that I am, I once tried to commit fraud. Remember the time when 10 øre was still alive? I once went to the store and tested this mythical mint. If an item in the store cost 70 øre I wanted to see if I could buy it for that price. I put the item on the counter and tried to give the cashier 70 øre. She said “No sorry, 1 kroner please.” You got me; I tried to pay for something with money that did not exist even though that is the price they wanted for it. 

Once again I just have to say it; I guess that’s just the way things are.

Lucky for me that the rules keep changing, the taxes keep going up and the work force is becoming nothing more than a temporary employment agency. There is still something to be said for being a criminal like me in the world we live in today. So maybe I shouldn’t say excuse me at all and maybe I should not listen anymore when someone tries to tell me “That’s just the way things are.”