Monday, March 5, 2012

Another Life



Another life

The pitch:

Desperate to make sense of her reoccurring dreams and nightmares, Emma seeks the help of a therapist that specializes in past life regression. What she uncovers sets her on a quest to find one man who holds the key to finding the happiness she so longs for.

Flash fiction using 4 of 5 prompts including a poem-Total word use 199

---Flashes of light danced before my eyes
Another life just passed in disguise
More memories to leave behind
More scars to heal this battered mind…

From a distance children were playing amongst the debris. All of them looked familiar. Before I could place the faces another image appeared. My heart recognized this small boy chasing a ball before my mind could grasp the fact that he was once again gone. Watching from a distance I could see two people sitting together under the remains of a concrete bridge. He was crying as he leaned over a rusted bridge support and stroked her wet hair. The cut on his leg would heal, but his heart might not. Sadness swept over me as I recognized the woman’s face as my own. In one quick flash my life had passed before my eyes. 


There were no more surprises and with calmness never felt before, I opened my eyes and saw the doctor staring at me with curiosity. “So how do you feel?”

“I understand the dreams now… but the nightmares, will they go away?”


 As I left the doctor’s office this "other life" made me more determined than ever to find him.


Please feel free to critique my writing.

If you liked my entry (number 10) you can vote for me, and find out more about the criteria for this challenge HERE.

To read about Rachel Morgans Book launch please scroll down to the previous post.









57 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Oh, that was really sad!

Elise Fallson said...

I agree with Alex, this was really sad. Wish it was longer to make sure things get better for "him." Good job!

Karen Walker said...

Not sure what this entry is for but it sure is well written and certainly made me want to read more.
Karen

meradeth said...

I totally want there to be more to this! Great job!

Rachel Morgan said...

Fascinating! I hope she finds him!

Claire Hennessy said...

Great job. Sad and emotive.

Morgan said...

Niiiice. Way to fit in all those prompts! I'm impressed! :D

Tara Tyler said...

wonder who she is looking for. glad she has purpose now! good job!

Craziness abounds said...

From what I saw I just have to like it and it counts right? that is what I did. If I did it wrong let me know so I can vote for it. This was very good Siv and I really enjoyed it. With there was more actually.

Jennifer Fischetto said...

I'm impressed about fitting in those prompts too.
I love reincarnation, so this really sang to me. :)

Kevin Hiatt said...

Wow.. nice hook. I want to know more of the story.

Cherie Reich said...

Aww! Such a sad story. I'd read more. :)

YelenaC said...

Wow, that was so beautiful and sad. Nice job!

My entry is 23, if you'd like to check it out.

Nancy Thompson said...

Really good entry. I loved the way you pulled everything together so seamlessly. Well done, Siv! And thanks for dropping by and commenting. I'll go vote for you now.

Christy Farmer said...

I really like your pitch Siv and your story! Intrigued to find out more and why she needs to find him. Nice job!

Ashley Nixon said...

Oh! This was so good! I totally didn't see the whole dream part coming! I am also curious as to why she needs to find him.

Alleged Author said...

This is wonderful but sad. :(

Sally said...

Great story.

sue said...

I didn't find it sad.... good use of prompts - glad to see not another end of world plot
Sue #48

KSCollier said...

I love the twist in the end. Great job!

Siv Maria said...

You think? I find it rather hopeful :)

Siv Maria said...

Nice catch there Elise! Yes---who is the him? Now if this were to be a story and not just a small flash fiction piece I could have probably brought out that point better.

Siv Maria said...

Platform Building Campaign challenge Karen :) Thanks for the nice words.

Siv Maria said...

Thank you, it is hard not to write more.

Siv Maria said...

Thank you Rachel and of course she does...LOL! Not without some challenges along the way, what fun would that be?

Siv Maria said...

Thank you.

Siv Maria said...

Thank you, was a difficult challenge

Siv Maria said...

My guess is that it would be someone from a past life of hers, what do you think?

Siv Maria said...

Thank you, hard to do more with a limit of 200 words. This was a difficult challenge with lots of rules, but I think I did ok. Thanks for voting!

Siv Maria said...

Thank you, I love the subject too. Always fascinates me, I mean, this can't be all.

Siv Maria said...

Thanks, I want to know more too...lol

Siv Maria said...

Thank you, didn't mean for it to be sad though, more of a revelation that brought hope.

Siv Maria said...

Thanks Nancy, this was a hard one!

Siv Maria said...

Thank you Christy. I would guess she needs to find him to make her present life more fulfilling.

Siv Maria said...

Thank you Ashley. I thought about having her just die, but that would have been to boring. If I were going to write this I would have two choices the obvious---letting go, or the "Dragonfly" Wonder if anyone will figure out what that means-

Siv Maria said...

Thank you, but sad is not really what I was going for.

Siv Maria said...

Thanks

Siv Maria said...

Thank you Sue. I agree, the end of days is used alot in this challenge. Glad you caught the hope in this story.

Siv Maria said...

Thank you, nothing better than a good twist

JEFritz said...

I'm definitely interested in knowing what the other life is about and why it causes nightmares. You did a great job with the pitch and the poem, too :).

Julia King said...

Amazing. Loved the poem. Poor woman. I hope she finds the boy. Way to tug at my heart-strings.

Nick Wilford said...

Nice use of the poem in there. Very emotive, I like how she comes out of it with a sense of purpose. I'm curious as to who "he" is, but also about the children... this could definitely go a lot further. Great job!

C.M.Brown said...

Interesting story! Quite sad!

Siv Maria said...

Wow, someone finally figured it out...lol!

Siv Maria said...

Thank you, hard challenge!

Siv Maria said...

Thank you, most people seem to assume the "he" would be a love interest but that is just to obvious :)

Siv Maria said...

Really? Emotional was what I was going for, not sad. Thanks for stopping by.

Carrie Butler said...

Ooo, I'm curious now. Great work! :)

Honey said...

Great job! I liked how you used the prompts, I'm not much of a sci-fi fan so it was more to my taste. I wanted more!

Traci Kenworth said...

I think you did a great job tying everything together!!

Mina Burrows said...

Loved it! Well done!

Susan Roebuck said...

Gosh, that was a tearful one. Hope she does find him. That was written from the heart.

Deniz Bevan said...

Very touching. Love the line about how his wounds might heal but his heart might not.

C.B. Wentworth said...

This is a really cool idea to link the prompts! I love what you've done - the writing is beautiful and so is the story. :-)

The Capillary said...

Neat concept!

#46

Jessica Salyer said...

Love the premise. Beautifully written. Wish I could read more. :)

kelworthfiles said...

Thanks for sharing. I liked the poem!