Saturday, March 24, 2012

You should have known

Theater is great motivation for finding oneself

So you are turning 24 and for 20 of those years you have wondered, “What’s wrong with me?” You can not concentrate, you have a bad temper, you get easily irritated, you do not function well in a team, your ego is misplaced in all the “politically correct” concepts that society puts you in. You are very smart but most everything bores you. You are not tolerant so when people tell you that you misbehave, it is always their fault that things go wrong. Your parents seek the help of doctors and one after one they come up with different solutions but never one that gives an answer. You drop out of school, start taking drugs, steal and basically let everyone down that you care about. You are marked as “Yeah, that guy, stay away from him!” 

Because you are “who you are” you do not give up hope for very long. You are an adult and know that you have to get your act together. Your parents have done all they can, and now you only have yourself, your tomorrow, your future. Finally a doctor diagnoses you with ADHD and you are put on medication. Your life changes, your goals become clear and you my friend have joined the human race. All excited, you want that education back, but the government says, “You should have known.” You give them the documents and still “they” shake their heads and say it is not good enough. You are too old to get back that education, so if you want it then you have to work extra hard to get it. Once again you fall into the group of “helpless cause.”

In Norway everyone is entitled to an education as long as you figure it out by the age of 16. There are exceptions to this rule.  If you are a foreigner Norwegian tax payers will help you, if you are in jail or are a danger to yourself or others, then rest assured you will get help. Help towards paying for your education, living expenses, even opening up your own business. A good example of that is Anders Brevik, the guy that killed all those young people on an Island in Norway. He is in a nice jail now, getting an education and with good behavior he will most likely get out as soon as he has his diploma in hand.

So who are you my friend? You, who tried to do everything right even after you knew you were sick. You keep on fighting don’t you? Who are you? You are my son and I could not be more proud of you. This little man in a big society keeps breaking all the rules, keeps fighting for his rights to be the person he knows society has ignored. Just goes to show you, that with the right diagnoses and medication anything is possible. 

Do you have a child that society has chosen to ignore? Maybe you were one yourself? Please share your thoughts.


Linda said...

My grandson has been diagnosed with ADHD, I did not see it, he is a very good student in school but does have temper tantrums if he doesn't get his way. Much to my dismay he was put on meds....they are helping for the most part. I could go on and on but won't. I just have a short attention span and get bored easily.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Siv .. I haven't any children and don't have ADHD - but I do find it interesting reading more - and I hope sincerely it helps others.

There have been some brilliant 'novels' written about and often by kids with these sorts of challenges - I love the blogging process of finding out more.

I'm so pleased for you and your son .. you both deserve much .. cheers Hilary

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'm sorry, Siv. Who on earth has his life figured out by age 16 anyway?
Tell your son to keep trying. Don't give up.

Gossip_Grl said...

It sounds so unfair that kids should have it figured out by 16. Sadly, I have one like you have described. He had dropped out of school 3 months before the school figured out he was no longer attending. I think gives us so many choices and it is up to us to choose the wrongs or the rights.

Elise Fallson said...

The French educational system is pretty rigid too and it's difficult for those who need a little more time. I feel sixteen is way too young to have your future figured out. Heck, I'm 35 and I still haven't gotten it all figured out! But I'm glad your son is getting the medication he needs. And tell him to never give up.

Michael Di Gesu said...

Well, Sis,

Thank God, he gave you the strength to support your son. He is very lucky to have you in his corner.

Life is hard anyway, but to have strikes against you makes it almost unbearable.

I hope he keeps positive and figures out what's best for him. He will.... he is, after all, your son.

Sarah Pearson said...

This post made me happy and sad at the same time. Happy that your son has you to fight with him, but sad that he has to fight for something that many fight to get away from. I wish him well.

Anonymous said...

All three of my children have ADHD. My son Kyle has the most trouble. He struggles so hard to achieve one minute then on to something else. As I read this description of your son my mind was screaming, "Oh Kyle"
Thank you for giving me hope.