Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Killing the Fat Man

The Fat Mans Disguise

Now who of you out there want to lose some of that fat that has set up residency around different parts of your body? With summer on its way, it won’t be long before we are shedding our clothes and it would be nice to shed off some of that excess weight as well. Common sense tells you that there is no fast lane to that slimmer and more attractive you, but if someone tells you that there is a way then you want to believe them. Am I right? Well that is where the fat man steps in and grabs your attention. The fat man I am speaking of lives in the disguise of a beautiful slim woman who tells you how fat she used to be before she tried this miracle and proven product.

This fat man lives all over the internet and is getting trickier at getting your attention. He knows just when to strike, who to aim after, and which words of seduction to use. Now I have trained myself well to avoid looking at these ads while waiting for pages to load, but I was finally caught in the fat mans’ net and lured into a “Try it, you are under no obligation” and other such promises fantasy land. The fat mans’ diet is our vulnerability and he gets fat with our money. This time my money, as I swallowed the words fed me and clicked the fatal send button.


What I got in the mail were pills to speed up my metabolism and stable my blood sugar, as well as patches to wear that would “Detox” me and get rid of all that evil stored in my body. Hey, it was free and I was under no obligation to continue my subscription. Happily I swallowed a pill with my meal and spent the whole night feeling sick. The next day a skeptical me researched this miracle pill and found others that experienced the same thing. They also warned about trying to cancel their subscription with exhausting results and a much emptier wallet. No way was I going to fall into that trap so I wrote the company and cancelled any future packages of misery. That is when I found out that I was under obligation to buy one package at full price before cancelling any future orders. Stupid, that’s me, and I should have done the research first. In a hurry to swallow a miracle I just jumped right into the fat mans’ Net and like a fish out of water, I should have known better.


Let my lesson be one to you. Do not believe the Fat man; do not click on his promises while you are waiting to download. Stay away from companies like Formlife, and promises like Corexin and Life Detox. The only way to kill the fat man is to ignore him. We both know that there is no way to lose those extra pounds other than a healthy diet and exercise. Don’t let the fat man fool you too.




Back to mythology tomorrow, just couldn't stop myself from writing this today.

9 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Never believe in the quick fix. A healthy diet of moderation and exercise is the only way to go.

Siv Maria said...

Yeah, tell me something I don't know :)

Craziness abounds said...

I don't know if I should beat you or hug you lol. We talked about this last year woman. You know what I do so I'll leave it be. You know where to find me if you are serious about losing weight. Big hugs and I hope you get out of this mess.. I hate those stinkin fat men. I'd love to own their wallets though. :)

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

I am always trying different things that promise that I will shed pounds. As I've gotten older, my metabolism has really started to slow down. So I exercise when I have the energy to do so and try to moderate my intake of high calorie "treats" for more sensible choices.

Daisy Carter said...

Ah, darn that fat man! Stopping by from the campaign - hello!

Elisabeth Hirsch said...

I always want to believe in this sort of thing.

Susan Kane said...

It drives me crazy when I see those ads. I ask myself, "If this fat man has such a great cure for obesity, why isn't he getting the Nobel prize??"

Mark Koopmans said...

Shoot, we're all victims to the "been there, clicked on that" button....

Glad to hear they didn't take you to the cleaners, and well done for sharing... your words *will* help another :)

PS.... weird question... I know Steig Larsson wrote from Sweden, but is he big in Norway, too?

Angeline said...

If being thin was as easy as taking a pill every day, we would all be doing it and personal trainers would be out of business.

We've all got caught by scams, and there'll always be a new one out there. Live and learn, eh?