Killing the Fat Man

The Fat Mans Disguise

Now who of you out there want to lose some of that fat that has set up residency around different parts of your body? With summer on its way, it won’t be long before we are shedding our clothes and it would be nice to shed off some of that excess weight as well. Common sense tells you that there is no fast lane to that slimmer and more attractive you, but if someone tells you that there is a way then you want to believe them. Am I right? Well that is where the fat man steps in and grabs your attention. The fat man I am speaking of lives in the disguise of a beautiful slim woman who tells you how fat she used to be before she tried this miracle and proven product.

This fat man lives all over the internet and is getting trickier at getting your attention. He knows just when to strike, who to aim after, and which words of seduction to use. Now I have trained myself well to avoid looking at these ads while waiting for pages to load, but I was finally caught in the fat mans’ net and lured into a “Try it, you are under no obligation” and other such promises fantasy land. The fat mans’ diet is our vulnerability and he gets fat with our money. This time my money, as I swallowed the words fed me and clicked the fatal send button.

What I got in the mail were pills to speed up my metabolism and stable my blood sugar, as well as patches to wear that would “Detox” me and get rid of all that evil stored in my body. Hey, it was free and I was under no obligation to continue my subscription. Happily I swallowed a pill with my meal and spent the whole night feeling sick. The next day a skeptical me researched this miracle pill and found others that experienced the same thing. They also warned about trying to cancel their subscription with exhausting results and a much emptier wallet. No way was I going to fall into that trap so I wrote the company and cancelled any future packages of misery. That is when I found out that I was under obligation to buy one package at full price before cancelling any future orders. Stupid, that’s me, and I should have done the research first. In a hurry to swallow a miracle I just jumped right into the fat mans’ Net and like a fish out of water, I should have known better.

Let my lesson be one to you. Do not believe the Fat man; do not click on his promises while you are waiting to download. Stay away from companies like Formlife, and promises like Corexin and Life Detox. The only way to kill the fat man is to ignore him. We both know that there is no way to lose those extra pounds other than a healthy diet and exercise. Don’t let the fat man fool you too.



Back to mythology tomorrow, just couldn't stop myself from writing this today.