What a feeling

Flash dance, what a feeling...Here today, gone tomorrow.

Time really is unfair. My son has left back to the states and although I feel lucky to have spent time with three of my children, my heart is heavy. Ying and yang, positive and negative, balance is what life is all about. Try to figure it out. Good luck with that. Hours with interruption have kept me busy for years trying to answer the simple question of “Why?” Have you heard the phrase, “What does not kill us, makes us stronger,” stronger for what? What, pray tell do we need to be so strong for? Why is everything so easy for some people and so hard for others? Why should some people get all the pain of sexual abuse, suicide, disease, death, poverty, betrayal, loss, and others skip through life on a basket of gold covered by a rainbow? You can work hard, be a good person, but that is no guarantee for a good life. Ying and yang I can understand. I just want to know who rolled the dice and why does the result seem so unfair. Maybe you on the other hand have lived life on a golden basket covered by a rainbow. Life is just a puzzle with pieces that make no sense. That is my conclusion, if you have a better answer I would love to hear it. Some pictures to share from his trip to Norway...Yes there is more, still trying to figure out this computer...

Geirangerfjord

Viking graves in Stavern

Old Fort in Tonsberg

Insecure Writers Support Group and a Surprise

My tomato plants keeping me company

Tomato plants need sunlight, water, love and attention. Small seedlings grow into rich green foliage with flowers that turn into fruit, and with the proper support the plants continue to grow. Sometimes I like to think of stories as such. Each story is a wonderful addition to a garden rich with ideas to share. As a writer it is our job to give our stories the ability to grow and the support that they need to carry the fruit and share the harvest.  The Insecure Writers Support Group is also much like this, so this month I would like to give this group some sunlight, water, love and attention.  Remember that we are all part of this garden and by sharing and supporting each other; the fruit will only be sweeter.

My two sons met each other for the first time yesterday. Two peas in a pod, and my family garden is doing quite well. Tell me how does your garden grow?

I feel so tiny! Me and my sons, together for the first time.

Have a wonderful 4th of July for those who are celebrating it today!

Lost and Found

One year ago today my son found me 35 years after I had given him up for adoption. Those of you that have been following my blog this past year probably know the story, but for those of you that do not, I am re-posting some of those blogs today. Here is what happened and how it has changed my life forever.

The three of us, lost and then found

May happens to be an amazing month for me. Do you have a certain month where for some unexplained reason, life grabs you and makes you pay attention? May is that month for me. Maybe my mother, who was born in May, genetically imprinted this month for future events into my DNA. I married my husband in May, my youngest son was born in May, and two children who were lost to me found me once again, in the month of May. Two years ago on May 12th my daughter, who I lost through a messy divorce years ago, found me on Facebook. Last year on May 10th my firstborn son found me as well. 

You can not possibly imagine the effect this has had on my life and the life of my family. In one year, I gained two more children, two grandchildren, a son in law and various new friends including the estranged father of my first son. My husband became a step-father, my mother a great grandmother, and all my children gained more siblings. My son who lost both his adoptive parents and had no siblings, suddenly had a huge family with grandparents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts and cousins. I often think how overwhelming this must be for him, and how many more surprises are still in store for all of us.


My youngest daughter traveled to the states last summer to meet both her sister and older brother for the first time. I traveled there soon after and got to spend time with the both of them, I also got to meet my grandchildren for the first time. There have been a lot of first times for everyone and this summer there will be even more. My son is coming to visit us and finally meet more members of his family.


One year ago I got out of bed and started the day with ordinary expectations, when I went to bed that night I realized that my expectations would never be ordinary again. How could they be? In one year I had given birth to two grown children, and the funny thing is ... 
No matter how grown up they may be, 
they still feel like--- my babies to me. 

All of us can get lost, but thankfully we can also be found.



If you are interested in reading more of this story, check : LOST AND FOUND

Age makes you smart..Does it?

Beautiful, Isn't she`? I am so dead for posting this!

So it is one of my daughter’s birthdays today. I had to stop and do the math, that’s because it seems like just yesterday. She was 10 in the year 2000, 20 in the year 2010, so I guess that makes her 22 today. She is 22 years old and all knowing. Remember that age? Well I had to stop and think about it.  When I was her age I had already given birth to two children. One of whom I had to give away. By the age of 22 I had been desperately in love more than just once. Again I am thinking math and that would have made me married for the first time. The years just peel away like an onion, and suddenly I am in another county, giving birth to another child and then other one. You would think I just spit them out, right? I can honestly say that each one of my children was born out of love. Maybe along the way, I made some mistakes. God knows, I keep making them but I will never regret making them out of love. I woke up this morning so happy that she is here, a part of my life, and although she thinks maybe sometimes otherwise, I will always be there for her. She does not read my blog but I say this anyways, I toss it out in the Air---Happy birthday “All knowing Daughter”---I hope when you are my age, you will be just as smart as you think you are now. By the way, just so everyone knows..I have the secret for having pain free birth..

Have a nice week-end everyone, any cause for celebration?

Oops I did it again

Voicing my opinions tends to get me in trouble, especially when it comes to my children. They do not like me blogging about they're personal lives. God help me if I ever finish a book that is not about fairy tales. I am writing one, but the thought of getting so personal terrifies me. Maybe some day when I am dead you can pick up my book and read about my life, you know the one that says, "Been there, done that." No, I am not kidding. Ok so maybe a little, because I have never killed anyone. Not on purpose any ways. So, I guess my question to you is...Where do you draw the line? There are so many things that I want to say but I keep getting in trouble. How long do you as a writer, tip toe through life, trying to make every one else happy? So that was two questions. Maybe I should just stick with fairy tales.

You should have known

Theater is great motivation for finding oneself

So you are turning 24 and for 20 of those years you have wondered, “What’s wrong with me?” You can not concentrate, you have a bad temper, you get easily irritated, you do not function well in a team, your ego is misplaced in all the “politically correct” concepts that society puts you in. You are very smart but most everything bores you. You are not tolerant so when people tell you that you misbehave, it is always their fault that things go wrong. Your parents seek the help of doctors and one after one they come up with different solutions but never one that gives an answer. You drop out of school, start taking drugs, steal and basically let everyone down that you care about. You are marked as “Yeah, that guy, stay away from him!” 

Because you are “who you are” you do not give up hope for very long. You are an adult and know that you have to get your act together. Your parents have done all they can, and now you only have yourself, your tomorrow, your future. Finally a doctor diagnoses you with ADHD and you are put on medication. Your life changes, your goals become clear and you my friend have joined the human race. All excited, you want that education back, but the government says, “You should have known.” You give them the documents and still “they” shake their heads and say it is not good enough. You are too old to get back that education, so if you want it then you have to work extra hard to get it. Once again you fall into the group of “helpless cause.”

In Norway everyone is entitled to an education as long as you figure it out by the age of 16. There are exceptions to this rule.  If you are a foreigner Norwegian tax payers will help you, if you are in jail or are a danger to yourself or others, then rest assured you will get help. Help towards paying for your education, living expenses, even opening up your own business. A good example of that is Anders Brevik, the guy that killed all those young people on an Island in Norway. He is in a nice jail now, getting an education and with good behavior he will most likely get out as soon as he has his diploma in hand.

So who are you my friend? You, who tried to do everything right even after you knew you were sick. You keep on fighting don’t you? Who are you? You are my son and I could not be more proud of you. This little man in a big society keeps breaking all the rules, keeps fighting for his rights to be the person he knows society has ignored. Just goes to show you, that with the right diagnoses and medication anything is possible. 

Do you have a child that society has chosen to ignore? Maybe you were one yourself? Please share your thoughts.

My Darling Someone

Not so very long ago a friend of mine was talking about writing his profile for an online dating service, "just in case." Now I know that he is happily married and was not really planning on using any such service, but the thought of him ever having to join the "dating game" terrified him. I don't blame him. Being married for many years is nothing short of a miracle. Even couples getting married seem to be a rare thing. There are more obituaries in the papers than wedding announcements. I have been thinking a lot about love lately, not surprising considering the time of year it is and the date on todays calendar. Love is starting to look like fast food. Online dating, and flirting in a make believe world through an avatars eyes is an easy hook up. Look around you; chances are that you know at least one couple that has met through the screen of "Data Matchmaker." I don't know, maybe this is a good thing. Maybe falling in love has become nothing more than a processor, and when the thrill is gone another model comes along. Has the world got a shortage of romance, are we running out of love? Do young people even know what love is? So I sat myself down and decided to write a letter to my unborn grandchild.

My darling someone,

Close your eyes and know that I have been thinking about you even before you were born. You are only a dream of mine today, but someday maybe these words will find you in a real world, whether I am there with you or not. There is so much that I would like to share with you; time, places, people, things, feelings and thoughts. A tapestry of everything that is important to me. Trust me; take my hand and I will show you what love is made out of. Its fabric is the most important thing I could ever share with you. There is a place inside your heart where all things are possible, where dreams are born and courage is found. You could get there without me but you could never get there alone. 

Every day there are so many discoveries to make, some grand some rather simple. It is the simple things in life that tend to please the most. Feel passion in the things in life that give you pleasure and you will find them everywhere. In the sounds of day and night, pleasure is laughter when you hear children playing, the birds singing, the wind in the trees, the rain against hot pavement, a fire crackling. Pleasure is love pressed into passion. The silent sounds of night such as soft moans, or the gentle humming of utilities and the even breathing of the body next to you in bed. Pleasure is the unexpected kiss and the way your lover reaches for your hand. It is the smile from a stranger a letter from a friend, the way a puppy cuddles up next to you, and the way you feel when you come in from the cold. It is looking into the eyes of someone and knowing that everything is going to be alright.  Pleasure is in the way things smell. The familiar smell of your lovers’ skin, the smell of a baby and that soft clean body in your arms, the smell of your favorite dinner in the oven, the way the air smells when leaves are burning, or just after a rain. 

Being loved by someone is the greatest pleasure of all. Those three simple words, “I love you”, whether they are from a lover, a friend, a child, a parent, a brother or sister, there is nothing that can compare to being loved. Love is a tapestry of everything and yet it is nothing if left unshared.

With love,

Your future grandmother

Happy Valentines’ Day, I hope you make the most wonderful tapestry to share with someone special. 

Revised from an earlier post of mine.

Treat Time

 Enough food already! So I am winding off this small series on “What's for dinner Mom?” with a treat. Besides I am still on snow shoveling strike so that means no store today and left-over leftovers for dinner. If you missed dinner yesterday, you can see what dinner will be today by clicking HERE. 

My two kids that are visiting from the states this summer should be less frightened now about sitting at the dinner table. Norwegian food may be a bit different at times but I am still an American cook. 

We used to spend a lot of time up in the mountains at our families cabin and often we would go picking berries. My friendly freezer Simon is full of berries so I decided to make some use of the blueberries from a couple of years ago that has been hiding inside. Blueberry jam and waffles have been on my mind for a couple of days now. Waffles are as Norwegian as Apple Pie is American. All mothers have a waffle iron in their possession, and it is used for almost every occasion except breakfast. You will see waffles at school plays, children sporting events, raffles, or when needed as a treat to serve with coffee when company shows up.  Anything can be put on top of waffles, from goat cheese to sour cream and jam. Cookies are for Christmas, waffles stick around all year long like a good friend.

Waffles and Homemade Blueberry Jam

Yesterday I promised to tell you what you can do with old dairy products. Milk, yogurt, and any kind of cream can be frozen, then thawed and used in baking. It is wonderful in homemade bread and in my case now, waffles. This is how I make them:

A basic recipe calls for 4 eggs which will make about 30 waffles. Wisp eggs up with one cup of sugar for each egg in a large bowl until the mixture turns thick and fluffy. If you are using a machine, put it aside because the rest is done by hand. Mix in 1 liter of milk. In a separate bowl mix together half a kilo of flour, 2 tsp. of baking soda, 1 tsp. cardamom and 1 tbs. vanilla sugar. Sift this into the egg and milk mixture until you have a thick cake like batter. Add more flour if needed. Finally add half a stick of melted and cooled butter or margarine. Let waffle mixture sit for 10 minutes and you are good to go. Now all you need is a waffle iron…Maybe I should have mentioned that earlier…Hmm, wonder if it is possible to fry these off like pancakes. Let me know if you try.

The Food Whisperer

 

 Sometimes when asked, “What’s for dinner Mom?” I have no answer. My leftovers do not talk to each other, I cannot get to the store, there is no money in my wallet or I am sick. That would be the time to call in the food whisperer. There is one inside all of us. The food whisperer tell us when food is bad and needs to be thrown out, turns old bread into new and almost magically gets your leftovers to talk to each other and make a meal.

It is Monday, the stores were closed yesterday, and I did not plan for the unexpected company of this much snow. Dig out the car or put on skis are not my only option.

Snowed in and hungry

Taking inventory of the freezer, cupboards and fridge, it is time for the food whisperer to do her job. Once again leftovers will have to work together so first they need to start a dialog.  Small spicy meatballs, Chinese leftovers and ground beef from the freezer, wild rice and asparagus from yesterday’s dinner. What do they say to each other and how could they possibly get along? As you might know I have taken to naming my appliances as a means of keeping them user friendly. Mike, the microwave oven, will have to thin things out between Chinese and ground beef. Wild rice and asparagus will have to get along together with the rest of the company on today’s dinner plate. The result for dinner tonight is Wild Chinese Meatballs. The food whisperer has once again done the job and dinner is saved without physical exhaustion.

Wild Chinese Meatballs served with a light green salad

Tomorrow I am going to tell you what you can do with old dairy products and how they can put the sweetness back in your life. 

How many times has the food whisperer saved your meals?

Chicken Breast with an Accent

 Growing up, Sunday dinners were always a big deal, often celebrated at my grandparents’ house. What I looked the most forward to was my grandmothers’ pies. There was always the smell of fresh pie in her kitchen on Sundays. Unfortunately she died before she could teach me that skill. I did however make blueberry jam last night so maybe I will make waffles for a treat later. Sundays have changed and the big family dinner tradition has become more of a let’s see what we come up with. I decided today to do chicken so I put on some Van Morrison and this is what happened:

Stuffed Chicken Breast w/stuffing, wild rice,asparagus and sauce

There is no recipe because I made it up today as I went along. This is what I did:

Melt about half a stick of butter in a pan and add 1 finely diced shallot onion and 1 celery stalk. Add your seasonings; I used a bit of sage, rosemary, thyme, salt and pepper but use what you like and have on hand. I didn’t have any white bread so I used a garlic baguette that I had warmed up and then cut into small cubes. I added the bread cubes to the onion mixture and half a cup of chicken stock. Think thanksgiving stuffing. The final touch for this stuffing mixture is a handful of freshly grated Parmesan. Let this cool while you prepare your chicken breasts. I flatten 2-4 breasts and sprinkle them with seasoning (no salt).  If you use a meat hammer make sure you cross punch and the meat is evenly flattened. NOT TO THIN!  Flatten some of the stuffing mix on each breast, roll it up and fasten with toothpicks. Put the rest of the stuffing mix in the baking dish with the chicken. Brush the tops with butter and stick it in the oven at a medium temperature, let it bake until finished. How long will depend on the thickness of your breasts but I would say about 30 minutes. If you are unsure check to see there is no blood running out when you lightly stick it. Undercooked chicken is dangerous and over cooked tastes dried and bad.

Serve your chicken with whatever you want, but don't forget to take out the toothpicks before serving. I used wild rice, fresh asparagus and topped it all off with a Bretagne sauce (paprika and garlic). So what is for dinner today in your house?

Reindeer Stew

 Usually Saturdays are reserved for a special treat, but today there is no time to play in the kitchen. My spatula and frying pan have been replaced by a paintbrush and a 3 liter bucket of paint. For a long time now week-ends scream out with the sounds of materials being dragged across the floor or a saw buzzing away in regular intervals. Once the saw dust settles it is my turn to spread some more paint on the seemingly endless walls of first or second coat bliss. After scrubbing the paint out of my hands, my face and my hair it is time to check on dinner. This morning my trusty freezer supplied me with another helping hand from one of my best friends. Leftovers, once again to the rescue, has been slowly puttering away on the stove. Whenever I make stews or casseroles, leftovers end up packed away neatly and put into the freezer for a day just like today. 

Reindeer Stew over mashed potatoes w/ling-berries

When my children come here this summer and ask, "what’s for dinner Mom?" I wonder how they will react when I reply, "Reindeer stew." This would be one of the times that I put some Norwegian culture on their plates.  Reindeer tastes a lot like venison. The meat is very lean and has just a hint of wild game flavor.  I put the finished frozen stew in a casserole on low heat this morning so all I have to do now is make mashed potatoes and serve it all up on a plate. How great is that? I suppose now you want to know how I made it in the first place.

We can buy Reindeer meat in the grocery store. To make “Finnbiff” stew I use the kind that is bought in 2 kilo bags of frozen shaved meat. Since I make plenty when I first make it, I use 3 bags. This would be about 3 lbs. I fry the meat in butter until it is nice and brown and place it in a casserole. In the same frying pan I brown sliced mushrooms, (how many depends on how much you like mushrooms) and 1 finely diced small onion. I add this to the casserole with reindeer meat and add ½ a liter water and ½ a liter cream. Again the amount can vary, make sure it barely covers the meat. Add salt and pepper and let the whole thing simmer for about half an hour or so. Next add ½ liter of dark beer, 1tbs of crushed juniper berry and caramel color extract to make the sauce brown instead of cream color (this is my preference but not necessary) Take a pealed carrot and shave it off into the casserole, slice off a few pieces of brown goat cheese, adjust salt and pepper to taste and thicken the stew using which ever method you prefer. I use a finished cornstarch product that you can just sprinkle in the stew to make it thick, but as far as I know you cannot get that in the states. Let the stew simmer for as long as it takes you to make the mashed potatoes that you serve the stew over. Ling-berry or cranberry goes well on the side. 

Sound complicated and strange? It tastes great, and is one of those meals that are hard to stop eating even after your stomach screams for you to stop. So how do you deal with dinner when you have little time to prepare it and you want something good?

Have a nice week-end everyone and feel free to come back for dinner tomorrow.

Norwegian Pizza

 

Do you often hear or ask the question, “What’s for dinner Mom?” Every day for a week I am inviting you into my kitchen to show you that Norwegian cooking is not so foreign at all. There is a good reason for doing this, and that is to prove to my two children in the states that I have no intention of poisoning them when they come to visit this summer. A small culture shock may be in order but I will leave that to the rest of the family. Or maybe not, since I have serious doubts as to whether they even read my blog, they might just be in for a big surprise. 

Norwegian Pizza-Leftovers

It is Friday and as in most Fridays it is Pizza night! This has been a tradition in my home ever since the children were big enough to sit on regular chairs. When I first came to Norway in 1984, pizza was a relatively new thing to make its way into the frozen foods dept., and there were only a handful of pizza restaurants. Today frozen pizza is a number one seller, but not in my house unless I am in a very bad mood or extremely stressed for time. Even then, I spice it up with whatever is in the fridge. 

Some of you have been asking me to post recipes. The truth is that I do not follow them, cooking like most things in my life, is done by the seat of my pants. I can tell you what to do and how to do it but measurements are foreign to me. Short cuts in the kitchen are my best friends, imagination is my best tool, and leftovers are visitors that never stay long in the fridge. My Norwegian Pizza depends on what I have and what I want to get rid of. Almost anything works, but sorry if you were expecting fish. I have tried that and it was terrible! My advice is to stay away from fish on your pizza. 

Pizza crust takes too much time and is messy so I buy that finished. Here is what I found for my Norwegian Pizza today: Leftover spaghetti sauce with tiny meatballs (great to spread on the crust), Spekeshinke (cured ham), pepperoni, extra garlic and onions, tiny tomatoes, Mozzarella, Parmesan and Cheddar cheese. We like a lot of cheese in this house so I make two layers, one under the meat and one over to keep the meat in place. Sprinkle a good Italian seasoning on top and in the oven it goes for as long as it takes, usually about 20 minutes.

It won’t take long now before at least one of my kids will be coming through the door looking for Moms Norwegian pizza. Guaranteed, there will be no leftovers. What’s for dinner tomorrow? I have no idea.

So what kind of pizza do you like? 

What's For Dinner Mom?

  As many of you already know, my long lost children are coming to visit me this summer. It will be their first trip across the ocean from the land of fast food and restaurant chains, to Norway the land of fish and more fish.  We do however eat reindeer, and goat cheese as well as other assorted goodies foreign to the delicate palates of most American nationals. Supermarkets are often replaced by fishing boats or the hunters’ rifle, fast food by mothers’ speedy hands and restaurants by home cooking. 

These children of mine are terrified of coming over here and trying something new. They have been talking to each other over the phone and saying things like. “You do know that Mom is going to make us eat sheep head, pig brains, rotten fish and goat cheese, don’t you?” They still have not been told about crispy fish eyeballs, fish liver, fish eggs, fish-balls, smoked reindeer heart, seagull eggs or blood pudding. 

The truth is that my cooking is not so different than most Americans. At least I think so, although sometimes my seasoning might be a bit Viking flavored. “What’s for dinner---” will be a small series of posts inviting you into my kitchen. The meals are sometimes healthy, sometimes not... They are always tasty and cheaper than eating out, although my wayward American son would convince me otherwise. My children here in Norway have moved out, but they still call me up and ask “What’s for dinner Mom?” I haven’t scared them away from the dinner table yet. It will be interesting to see if I can get the other two to even sit down.

---Are you afraid to taste new things? Has fast food and eating out replaced a good home cooked meal because it is cheaper and more convenient? Have TV dinner children turned into Microwave addicts?---

Here is what’s for dinner today: American comfort all the way! 

Macaroni and Cheese Casserole w/Frankfurters and a Caesar Salad

 

Falling Apart

Outside my frosty windows winter has arrived and this time it looks as if it is here to stay. Winter in Norway, cold, dark and slippery, sometimes it is even beautiful, but not today. This year winter has been a tease, throwing rain and thunderstorms one day and flutters of quickly disappearing snow the next.  When it finally arrived on Sunday, I knew it was here to stay by the large suitcase it brought with and planted firmly outside the door. The snow blower quickly went on strike so it was time to get out the shovel and toss this unwanted baggage to the side. Why is it that when you need your machines they have a tendency to break down? We have had a major run of machine strike outs. First it was the new refrigerator, then the oven top, the robot vacuum cleaner, the clothes dryer and now the snow blower. My husband has gotten into the habit of asking me as soon as he gets home if everything is working. 

So what do you do when winter crashes down on you, and your machines fail one by one? Well I decided to make them friendlier and more personal by giving them all names. After all, a lot can be said by a name. You have met Spot, here are a couple more of my friends.

Nespresso, named George after George Clooney

Wilfa Humidifier-"Willy"

We call our garbage disposal "Terminator" a nasty bugger that works in secret under counter. Yes, winter boredom has set in as well. At least I have my kindle and a nice fire to sit by. 

What do you do when things seem to be falling apart around you?

Meet Spot M-288

Nani getting to know her new friend

Also known as Intelligent Robot Vacuum Cleaner, the newest member of our family was a Christmas present from our son. At last our very own robot maid (in China.) After several feedings of electrical current and careful deliberation the men in the family resorted to reading Spots user manual. Try and try again, Spot would move around the floor eating dust, crumbs and dog hair. After just a couple of minutes the poor thing would give up, blink its red light and park itself in its little garage. There was something definitely wrong, and the diagnosis was a transplant. We waited patiently for its new heart and prayed that it would take, but it didn’t and Spot slowly just died. Luckily we were able to replace it and today a brand new spot is eating off our floors and shooting our electricity through its body. Hopefully we will not have to suffer another robot loss for a while. Technology, whatever will be next, and will we be smart enough---human enough to deal with it?

Hope everyone has a "Dust Free" week-end!